October 6, 2015

Living and Breathing Love and Life

Just a lovely recap of yesterday's big day.

It was awesome!  

My birth into my next chapter of life has started off on a good foot.  So many sweet tidings from friends all over the world and loads of love from family near and afar, blood and by bond.

Oysters for lunch, cake for tea time, Pescado and Margaritas for dinner!  All my favorite things.
And the best?  I was sarinated to by my sons and husband!  With one son on piano, the other on guitar, they all sang out Happy Birthday to me.  What a great surprise!
I do love surprises!

It's all good from here really.  Everything up to now is school.  Now it's time to practice what we've learned, to put it to good, and keep it going.  And what better way to illustrate this than Susan Grace's post from yesterday, on my birthday!!  Move forward. Don't plow on through blindly.  Take it with grace, and steady strength.  Steady on my friend. Were in this together.

You are on a bridge.
You are walking between
What was and what is coming next.
Suffering is behind you.
What you're heart truly wants is in front of you.
On this walk,
You are anxious that
If you don't walk exactly right,
The bridge will fall and
So will you.
Maybe you should book it -
Run fast and hard.
Get away from what was.
Dive head-first into what's calling you forward.
Get this transition over with and be done with it.
Don't do that.
You'll smash the bridge.
You have to find the balance.
It's not in what is happening or
In what people around you are doing.
You have to find the balance within.
You have to carry that balance forward to the other side.
You do not know how this is going to pan out.
You do not know how other people are going to show up.
You only know that you have to cross this bridge.
You only know that you,
One way or another,
Are going to make it to the other side
Without falling.
Don't smash the bridge.
You need it.
Trust the Life ahead that is calling your name.
Let your heart lead.
Find the balance.


October 3, 2015

Gusty winds bring the Celebration of the Living and the Dead

I love October! It's chilly, windy, and brings in feelings of celebration on All Hallows Eve, carving pumpkins, decoration with skeletons, and of course, my birthday is where it all begins for me.

So begins the celebration of my 50th year. I can't really believe it to be true.  I don't feel this number, nor do I really look like what we think 50 looks like.  My birthday is NOT today, it's on Monday, but tonight I celebrate with with a few friends. I can't wait to gather around with my friends to celebrate life! Life is good!

I remember when communicating to my friend about being 50 this year, after shrugging, "ugh", she laughed and said. "Well, what's the alternative?  Death?  You should be celebrating."  Ha. I had to have a laugh at that.

I start my year– not on New Years– but on my birthday date, with goals and commitments to myself.  Some of them I started early on, to make sure I was well on the way with these commitments before I even hit the magic age of 50.  My most proud moment is laying off cigarettes... again.  I used to be a smoker over 10 years ago, when I quit. But I let stress, and anxiety bring me back to that habit, just two years ago.   Well, it just pissed me off that I did this, and in light of friends and family members going through Cancer, I told myself I was being stupid. So this past August I quit for good.  Just stopped cold turkey, and I feel great.

I've also started on a good course of Yoga and Meditation.  My meditation practice is getting stronger, and Yoga is slowly getting rooted into my weekly practice.   This is all good healthy stuff.

I have more ideas, but the most important is to get my business going.   Just settling in right now, and getting my studio set up, but when I get there, by end of this week (YES I WILL), I'll let you know!

This blog will also be taking a re-design, and focus. So wait for that.

In the meantime, I wanted to share a reading from one of my favorite Astrologer/writer's, Susan Grace.  You can find her on Facebook. More than an astrologer, more of a Spiritual Leader! I felt this to be perfect for me this last week.  The birth of the new moon was extraordinary, and really had an effect on me.  And this just sums it up. Thanks Susan.  And thanks Hannah for being so supportive and sharing!

Moon in Gemini square Jupiter in Virgo and Neptune Rx/Chiron Rx in Pisces, trine Sun in Libra, quincunx Pluto in Capricorn
Sun in Libra quincunx Neptune Rx in Pisces, square Pluto in Capricorn
Mercury Rx exacting Black Moon Lilith and Juno in Libra
North Node at zero degrees Libra sextile Saturn at 1 degree Sagittarius
Venus in 3rd decan Leo
Mars in Virgo oppose Neptune Rx in Pisces
Jupiter in Virgo trine Pluto in Capricorn

It's almost comical.
We try so hard to make everything line up.
Blind faith are involved, and
We think Let Love Rule, but also,
How do we make this exactly like we want it?
Um, we don't.
It's not going to be exactly like we want it.
It's going to be
Weird and
Awkward and
You'll say things you don't mean.
You'll stumble.
You'll serve up your heart on a silver platter.
You'll pour out forgiveness when people act like jackasses.
You'll wear your best shoes in the rain.
You'll burn the lasagna, but it's still edible.
This is Life.
It is perfect in it's imperfections.
The only thing you need to line up is
Your trust in yourself.
Don't worry so much about how Life is showing up.
It's showing up how it needs to.
It's surprising you on purpose.
It's showing you what you need to learn about
The Truth of Who You Really Are.
Be brave and
Reach for the Beauty.
You have Love in your heart -
You'll be fine.

June 3, 2015

My spiritual daily exercise: This stuff Works!

Oh hell no! She didn't just say that did she?  Damn straight she did! It takes years and years of earned hard patches and victories before some of us can dig deep enough to correct old patterns and set ourselves free of our maddening mind. Well at least get to a point to quiet it a bit.
Everyday there is a lesson to be learned, and life brings it to us just when we need it the most! Today's lesson came to me right on time! 

   Observe the way you are attached to your views and opinions.  
"When you become involved in an argument or conflict, watch how defensive you become, and feel the force of your own aggression as you attack another person's position.  
Feel the mental-emotional energy behind your need to be right and make the other person wrong, then let go of the force inside you that is fighting for power."  ~Eckhart Tolle 

Why do we get so caught up in the drama?  Why do we feed off of it.  Why do we need to have the last word?  Why must we need to prove our point?  To feel justified?  All these things are a mystery to me, as to why we need to do this.  But the first step in changing, is recognizing when you're doing it.  It's when the big "I" (the one connected) see's the little "i" (the one who needs - the ego) spinning out of control, or trying to be in control, that you know you're are present.  And being present with yourself is the first step to calming those needs.

As someone very close to me always says, "It's an inside job".

February 23, 2015

Dear Tiki

Tiki The Brave - Berlin 2012

To say that life will not be the same without you is an understatement.  You've been so much a part of my every life for the past 16 years, how could I not feel such loss without you.

Not only in the last few months–where we spent so much time together trying to battle your illness–
but your whole life you have been my constant companion. With the simplest routines of my day you have been there. Every night you climbed into bed, and stayed constant to your routine, nestled on my side.  In the middle of the night when I rolled, or moved just slightly away, you would move up closer to me.  I miss the feel of your fur on my back, your weight, and warmth.  Waking up, you were always the last one up!  I miss your pitter patter as you walked across the floor.  Even in those last weeks, when you grew restless.  Wherever I was, if I left you for too long, you would come to check on me to see what I was doing, before finally settling on a spot in the sun near me.  And how stubborn you were, pushing anyone, and everyone out of the way so you could claim your corner on the couch, under a pillow.  You always preferred your chest petted, or your ears rubbed, and hated it when people tried to pet your head. The summers brought so much joy to you, and I, and I loved snuggling with you in a corner on the floor where you lay in the sunshine.  I loved watching you move into the hot sun on the deck, and then back under the shade of the table.  And those little things, like wiping sand off your nose after a journey to the beach.  Your "bee in the bonnet"; I'll never forget how crazy you would get running all over the house when I took off your harness.  Most dogs liked to go for walks, and get excited when you pull a leash out. You didn't. You liked it best when it came off again.  Oh those last days of summer, when you chased the butterflies on the beach.  You brought us so much joy just watching your enthusiasm.

Whatever I was doing you were always there and now you are a shadow. I look and I think I see you walk by. I still jump when someone runs to sit on the couch to make sure you aren't snuggled underneath a pillow. Imagine the ruckus you survived!  I still go to shut the bedroom doors to make sure you won't go pee on the rug, but then I remember.   When we get ready to leave the house, I worry that you'll be left behind and then I remember you're not here.  We didn't leave you behind, you left us behind.

I know that you are in a place of peace and a place of joy.  I know in the future it will become easier. But it will take time.  Right now I still look for you. I simply just move and I think I see you, or feel you... Or the opposite, that I need to feel you next to me.  I need to feel you against my back so I can sleep.  Because right now, I wake up in the night, still looking for you.

I have never really known what it meant by a broken heart.   I thought I did. But now I do.  It's heavy, it hurts  and it feels like it will break in half.   I know your okay.  It's me is not okay.

Those last minutes together were so special. Just laying there, so peacefully sleeping. My hand on your chest,  your soft warm fur was so soothing it took me back to a whole lifetime of great memories together. I didn't want to say goodbye.

I miss you, I love you, and you will always be near me. I will always carry a part of you with me. I will cherish the memories from your very young beginning in the East Village to your dear old age of 92 in Germany.   Be it running on the beach, chasing the butterflies, or snuggling under the covers and your nice wet kisses, or your waggling rear when you walk... I will always have those as memories

I will always love you Tiki.  I will never say goodbye.


Good grief, yes, there is such a thing
Eventually, a Lightness it does bring
Be gentle, be soft, as you feel so broken
The power of Love comes unspoken

Divine Love holds all things together
We as humans question whether
But Life knows what It’s doing and Love is Its Light
It brightens and lightens as we take flight

Peace comes, contentment comes, be gentle be kind
Rest your heart and soothe your mind
The human mind is dulled and dazed
But the heart is refilled as you ride the waves

The rendering of Soul to gently restore
A place that is bigger than ever before
To grieve is good for it releases
Eventually through patience and caring, Love increases

Stillness and quiet are a prayer to unfold
As Life’s healing power brings treasures untold
The invitation is to be honest with That which is above
When all is said and done, all there is, is Love

Each moment, each hour of grieving and feeling
Reveals from the Soul the spirit of healing
Be patient, be kind
For good grief takes time


DeAnna LoCoco 2007
All rights reserved ©