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February 23, 2015

Dear Tiki

Tiki The Brave - Berlin 2012

To say that life will not be the same without you is an understatement.  You've been so much a part of my every life for the past 16 years, how could I not feel such loss without you.

Not only in the last few months–where we spent so much time together trying to battle your illness–
but your whole life you have been my constant companion. With the simplest routines of my day you have been there. Every night you climbed into bed, and stayed constant to your routine, nestled on my side.  In the middle of the night when I rolled, or moved just slightly away, you would move up closer to me.  I miss the feel of your fur on my back, your weight, and warmth.  Waking up, you were always the last one up!  I miss your pitter patter as you walked across the floor.  Even in those last weeks, when you grew restless.  Wherever I was, if I left you for too long, you would come to check on me to see what I was doing, before finally settling on a spot in the sun near me.  And how stubborn you were, pushing anyone, and everyone out of the way so you could claim your corner on the couch, under a pillow.  You always preferred your chest petted, or your ears rubbed, and hated it when people tried to pet your head. The summers brought so much joy to you, and I, and I loved snuggling with you in a corner on the floor where you lay in the sunshine.  I loved watching you move into the hot sun on the deck, and then back under the shade of the table.  And those little things, like wiping sand off your nose after a journey to the beach.  Your "bee in the bonnet"; I'll never forget how crazy you would get running all over the house when I took off your harness.  Most dogs liked to go for walks, and get excited when you pull a leash out. You didn't. You liked it best when it came off again.  Oh those last days of summer, when you chased the butterflies on the beach.  You brought us so much joy just watching your enthusiasm.



Whatever I was doing you were always there and now you are a shadow. I look and I think I see you walk by. I still jump when someone runs to sit on the couch to make sure you aren't snuggled underneath a pillow. Imagine the ruckus you survived!  I still go to shut the bedroom doors to make sure you won't go pee on the rug, but then I remember.   When we get ready to leave the house, I worry that you'll be left behind and then I remember you're not here.  We didn't leave you behind, you left us behind.

I know that you are in a place of peace and a place of joy.  I know in the future it will become easier. But it will take time.  Right now I still look for you. I simply just move and I think I see you, or feel you... Or the opposite, that I need to feel you next to me.  I need to feel you against my back so I can sleep.  Because right now, I wake up in the night, still looking for you.

I have never really known what it meant by a broken heart.   I thought I did. But now I do.  It's heavy, it hurts  and it feels like it will break in half.   I know your okay.  It's me is not okay.

Those last minutes together were so special. Just laying there, so peacefully sleeping. My hand on your chest,  your soft warm fur was so soothing it took me back to a whole lifetime of great memories together. I didn't want to say goodbye.



I miss you, I love you, and you will always be near me. I will always carry a part of you with me. I will cherish the memories from your very young beginning in the East Village to your dear old age of 92 in Germany.   Be it running on the beach, chasing the butterflies, or snuggling under the covers and your nice wet kisses, or your waggling rear when you walk... I will always have those as memories

I will always love you Tiki.  I will never say goodbye.


GOOD GRIEF

Good grief, yes, there is such a thing
Eventually, a Lightness it does bring
Be gentle, be soft, as you feel so broken
The power of Love comes unspoken

Divine Love holds all things together
We as humans question whether
But Life knows what It’s doing and Love is Its Light
It brightens and lightens as we take flight

Peace comes, contentment comes, be gentle be kind
Rest your heart and soothe your mind
The human mind is dulled and dazed
But the heart is refilled as you ride the waves

The rendering of Soul to gently restore
A place that is bigger than ever before
To grieve is good for it releases
Eventually through patience and caring, Love increases

Stillness and quiet are a prayer to unfold
As Life’s healing power brings treasures untold
The invitation is to be honest with That which is above
When all is said and done, all there is, is Love

Each moment, each hour of grieving and feeling
Reveals from the Soul the spirit of healing
Be patient, be kind
For good grief takes time


~~~~~~~~~

DeAnna LoCoco 2007
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www.letenergytransform.com




January 27, 2015

Create Your Life!


     When I wake up, I take a big stretch- right there in bed. Then I read some very helpful motivational, and perhaps spiritual notes or from a book. This is how I start the day. Afterwards I'll exercise, or just have another coffee, but the exercise for my spiritual self is the most important part of my morning routine. 

     This morning I wanted to share with you one of my favorite and important mantras, it's linked with the positive affirmation brigade, but don't boo boo it. Why wouldn't positive affirmations work? Negative ones do! You do it all the time. You say I can't, I won't, I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm not good enough, I don't know how and then you believe it. So why not reverse the message you tell yourself. Imagine if you put as much energy into being positive what you could do! So here it is...

        Today I recognize that I tend to produce in my life what I feel is true for myself

     Thoughts have a creative power of their own, and if you look closely you can see your thoughts come to life. Create the possibility of what you would like by first experiencing it in your mind. Visualize what you would like to have in your life in your mind’s eye. Accept what you see in your inner eye as being there for you and fully participate in your vision as if it were yours. Be specific about what you see, smell, taste and feel, and accept it as fully as possible. Enjoy your vision, then let it go and move on in your day, releasing it with no thought of controlling it further. 
That little bindi dot? It's representational of your minds eye!  It also represents your sixth chakra, 
the seat of "concealed wisdom". The bindi is said to retain energy and strengthen concentration. 
The bindi also represents the third eye. There are many meanings behind the bindi, and they are all valid. 


         Another way of looking at it is using the expression; Fake it till you make it. But you have to believe in yourself, live past the fear. Just go for it. Don't let anybody, or any negativity hold you back!


All good things are possible for you and for me!


If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.     -Henry David Thoreau


It's never too early, or too late to believe in your strength!

January 18, 2015

Happy New Year 2015

Look, I really don’t want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you’re alive, you’ve got to flap your arms and legs, you’ve got to jump around a lot, you’ve got to make a lot of noise, because life is the very opposite of death. And therefore, as I see it, if you’re quiet, you’re not living . . . you’ve got to be noisy, or at least your thoughts should be noisy and colorful and lively. 
Mel Brooks


                         


This is the year!
         I could feel everything leading up to this year as an awakening of consciousness. Where 2013 was one of confusion and struggle, the actual process of awakening began early in 2014. With hard work–internal work–I've slowly yet steadily discovered some answers to questions long left dormant. I feel alive now, awake, and ready.  I have a new career blossoming before me, that excites me and has me eager to learn more.  My relationship with my life partner has matured in a way I would never have expected.  Struggles and pain are apart of life.  It's the way we handle them, confront them, and ask ourselves what we did, how we can be, and who do we want to be that help push us forward past these times.  With everything going on in the world around us–terrible violence and inhumane responses–it's important even more right now, that we sit quietly, be still, and focus on what is, and what is inside us. 

It seems silly, but when I'm obsessing, or worried, or sad, I just have to take a deep breath, go sit somewhere quiet, breathe in the fresh air, and remind myself, that nothing can change me, but myself.    That what I want, only I can give me.  To let go, to remain free and open.  Let the good come in, and fill me with energy, and let the bad energy out to dissolve.

My only intention for this year (not resolution) is to live life, to extend my arms, jump around a lot, and to make noise; the happy kind.  And in the doing, I hope to affect those around me with the same.

Namaste






December 21, 2013

Aging Gracefully... most of the time



This past October–drum role please–I turned 48.  I still can't really put my head around that number.  I still remember when I was in my 20's, and my girlfriends would always joke, "Your'e pushing 30!"  Then eventually it was, "Your'e pushing 40!" Now? where are they now?   The silence is thick with fear.   But a few of my friends have surpassed me and reached the next glorious double didgit of 50.  And you know what?  It's really not so bad.  Sure, when your 45, and under, you cringe when you think of turning 50. But as the years go by, and you see little changes, but nothing too dramatic, and you still feel fabulous, sexy and alive, 50 just seems like another number.  One to just go, "oh boo. You don't scare me!"   50 is actually kind of sexy now.  Because it's broken the stereo type.  And people who are still stuck in the middle ages who refer to "middle age" as 40, have another thing coming.  Well maybe if they are sitting around eating donuts, doritos, lot's of fried fats, don't excersice or socialize. Then, yes they will look like the old fashioned 50.  But these days, it doesn't take much to keep your youth. The very most important ingredient to staying young looking (IMHO), is to be young thinking. Open minded.  Open to all.  To love fully, and to give fully.  To embrace life.  To forgive, and to let go.  To just be yourself.  Don't get stuck.  Find your way out of those sticky places with the right, positive attitude.  Hey, it's not easy. And not every day is easy. But more times than naught, it is.  Just some gentle reminders needed.  Good friends, and people around you that you love and love you.
I have the best group of friends EVER.  They are near, and they are far. But only far geographically. They sit so close to my heart, sometimes it hurts when I miss them. But I know something for sure now–and this is a benefit of age–the friends you have now, will be with you forever.  We're in that unconditional love phase of our lives. And it's glorious!

 So here are some photos from this year, of me. I'm proud of me. Proud of my body– with stretch marks, a few sags, cellulite and fat. (Yes, we all have to have fat!)   I'm in love with my family, friends, and my life.   I'm very, very lucky. Even with a few wrinkles to go with the smile.


July, Amagansett

If i stand just so...

With fellow sex pot mommy, Hannah.  Yeah, but she's still in her 30's or something

My Birthday Weekend: London (zoom in for crinkles

With the Family on our German Thanksgiving

With the man in my life.  But I have to admit, I think he softened the lens on this.



Celebrating Christmas with Wanda (my mom, who just turne 78!)

I love you mom. Your an inspiration!